


Quiet

by Fafsernir



Series: Vax Machina [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Vax going to Keyleth's room for the first time, episode 42: dangerous dealings, soft fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25637641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fafsernir/pseuds/Fafsernir
Summary: All Vax could do that night was hold her. Hold her and be thankful to be able to hold her, to not be alone, even for just one night. For once, he had someone with him, he had her with him.
Relationships: Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role)
Series: Vax Machina [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872244
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> I am continuing my Vox Machina binge-watch and I have to admit, Vax and Keyleth are adorable. More to come, probably, I just love them a lot ;)

It was strange. Vax didn’t know whether he should say something or stay silent. More so than not knowing if he should, he didn’t know what he himself wanted. He knew he didn’t want to be alone, and that was the extent of it.

He didn’t even want to think about it, he had thought about it plenty already, he hadn’t come here to think about it even more. He had come here because he didn’t want to be alone, he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t just lay in his bed and stare at his ceiling and never find sleep because every time he tried, he could feel all his doubts rushing back, blinding him, making him feel even worse than it did during the day. It made him want to curl up and cry, and he didn’t want to do that anymore. It didn’t bring any solution to any problem.

Not that staring at the wall of Keyleth’s room helped much more, but at least he wasn’t alone. He was with  _ her _ and it was odd how good it felt to be able to sit and be with her.

He didn’t know what she thought, he didn’t know if she loved him back, all he knew was that lately he hadn’t been able to hold it back, to keep it quiet. He loved her so much, and he wanted her safe, and he wanted to be with her. Not necessarily  _ with _ her, but he wanted to be by her side, be it as a friend or more. He could do with friend, as long as she was alright. As long as he was allowed to be here, with her.

He looked up at her as she took away her armor and quickly averted his eyes to give her some privacy, looking down at his hands. He stared at them, looking at his veins and his knuckles, and purposefully not paying attention to what Keyleth was doing.

He almost jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Keyleth, standing in all her authentic beauty and wearing a simple, almost tattered top as her night outfit. She smiled softly, as much as the circumstances allowed any of them to smile, and Vax scratched his ear nervously, as he often did. Vex had told him enough for him to be conscious of it at times.

“May I?” she whispered, almost too low for him to hear, and he just nodded when he understood what she meant.

She unlaced his armor slowly and carefully, and he let her do it. He let her take care of him and as much as he wanted to be there for her, to be able to be that reassuring, protective presence around her, in that moment she was his sole source of comfort. She offered him the support and the attention he had been lacking lately, she offered him the care he had failed to keep up for himself. She was his anchor into a reality that didn’t entirely suck, because she was in it, and she was the only thing that made sense. 

His feelings for her made sense. Who wouldn’t love someone like her, someone as caring as her, and as kind, and as strong, and as beautiful, and… everything and so much more. 

He closed his eyes, at some point, and opened them only when he felt lips on the top of his head. She simply grabbed his head between her hands and kissed his hair, and he almost sobbed here and there.

He did cry, that night. She cried too. They held each other as the horrors of the last days, of the last few weeks, came back to them and took them fully. They allowed each other to break, as it was something they couldn’t do during the day. They couldn’t show how deeply it impacted them, because they had to be strong, they had to give hope to the refugees, to the survivors. Because when the heroes start to lose hope, then there’s nothing one can do.

She ran her hands through his long hair a lot as she held him. He simply held onto her shirt, not knowing what was appropriate or not to do, and just relishing in the fact that he was not alone. She was there, even after he had revealed his love for her, even after all the times he had walked away, full of shame and desire to avoid confrontation. She hadn’t hesitated to let him in.

They lay in bed for a long time, not talking, not needing to talk. Not wanting to. There wasn’t a lot they could say. They just needed to be with each other, they needed to not be alone. They needed to feel a warmth as their hearts grew colder and colder with the events taking place around them.

They fell asleep, at some point, Vax first. He was also the first to wake up. And even if it wasn’t a very restful night, he did manage to sleep, and his nightmares weren’t too bad. Opening his eyes to Keyleth’s tickling hair made him smile, and he almost forgot about what had happened. He even allowed himself to enjoy these few stolen seconds as the woman who had so easily stolen his heart was still sleeping, seemingly peacefully, and he imagined how it would feel like, to always wake up to that beautiful picture. He really wouldn’t mind it, if she would have him.

That night went a little better than most of his recent nights, and he wondered if that was something he could go after again. He wondered how much uncertainty his heart could take before it totally broke, but he tried not to think about it, instead pretending everything was alright. It wasn’t really the moment to feel like this, to think about feelings.

For once, he let himself wait a bit before getting up, lying in a bed that smelled like her, lying next to her, and he closed his eyes again. He would have to face the horrors of the world early enough. He deserved a short break, they both deserved it.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @fafsernir or @trashmel if you want to chat about CR, dnd and stuff ;D


End file.
